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Post by julianna sellenger on Jul 8, 2010 17:20:12 GMT -8
THE EARLY MORNING air was crisp and clear, heralding the beautiful day ahead. Julianna had always loved the fall. It was such a colourful time of year and the temperature was perfect—not too hot, but not too cold either. Even now, as the season was barely beginning, nature seemed to be already preparing for the same spectacular show it put on every year. But this year, everything was different. It had been just over a year since everything had changed. In one moment, Julianna had lost the single most important person in her life, and the world had seemed to shift with that event, as though everything now centred around it. Looking back, Juli knew that she was nowhere near the person she had been before. Despite the pain of her past, she had been content—happy even. Her life had been centred on the lives of others, her every move designed to please them, not because she felt obligated to, but because it made her happy. Now, she was a mere shell of the person she’d once been. Each thought, each memory caused her pain. Pain was as much a part of her now as her hair or eye colour and just as difficult to remove. Happiness was a mere memory. But, as she’d sat in the silence of her own room, typing messages to a boy she hardly knew, something else had shifted within her. She’d laughed—truly laughed—for the first time in over a year. For the first time in over a year, if only for an instant, she’d forgotten, and she wanted to have the chance to do so again The decision to meet with Noah had been an impulsive one, fuelled by loneliness and the fact that he, unlike everyone else, didn’t treat her as though their entire friendship was dependent on some unspoken expectation he had for her. Instead, he seemed to almost be in his own little world, where the world’s biggest worry was that some people didn’t have enough fun. Julianna wished life could be so easy for her, rather than the series of complex and painful events that seemed to define her existence. She wished that she could see the world the way Noah did and, consequently, be as happy as he was. She honestly didn’t even know if Noah could be considered her friend, since she hardly even knew him. She certainly wasn’t naïve enough to believe that he actually cared about her. But he was nice, and funny, and he didn’t seem to expect her to tell him anything about her past—or her present, for that matter. Everyone else had left already, apparently either unwilling to put up with her anymore or simply exasperated that she refused to speak of the things that haunted her. She would never understand what was so wrong about having secrets. For that reason, if nothing else, Noah was quite possibly the closest thing Juli had to a friend anymore. Regardless of this, she’d spent the entire week worrying that she’d made the wrong choice. A million things could go wrong and she honestly wasn’t sure if she was prepared to deal with the potential consequences. Noah had claimed that she needed to have more fun, but what if she was simply incapable of having fun and ended up disappointing him? Worse yet, what if she did enjoy herself? What if she ended up growing attached to Noah only to be left behind again? She didn’t think she could handle another such blow. Folding her arms across her chest, Juli scanned the crowd of people before her, searching for a particular mop of dark blonde hair. The moment she found what she was looking for, she had the impulse to run. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t pretend to be someone who knew anything about having fun. She was a miserable excuse for company and, as soon as Noah realised this, he would leave her behind just like everyone else had. She should leave now, before he saw her, and tell him she’d come down with the flu. But when she tried to move, she found that her feet were frozen in place. Biting her lip, she watched nervously as he approached. Taking a deep breath, she willed her heavy feet forward. “Hello, Noah,” she said quietly, while silently praying that he wouldn’t be too disappointed in her when the day was done.
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Post by noah davis on Jul 13, 2010 22:04:34 GMT -8
Noah was awake long before his alarm sounded but that didn’t stop an uncharacteristic scowl from momentarily darkening his features as he glanced toward the static that crackled from atop his dresser in the corner of his dorm. He had purposefully tuned the small radio between two channels - a practice he’d been following since he first got the bright orange clock for Christmas five years prior. He had discovered that he tended to sleep through music and the sharp alarm made his heart stop. Although Noah tended to be a fan of anything that induced adrenaline, he found that starting the day with a heart attack was far from appealing. Hence the static, though very few understood his rationale – not that something like that would phase Noah. He had never been one to care about other people’s opinions.
Noah tossed his rather infamous red backpack onto his bed before half-trotting, half-skipping across the room. A lopsided grin teased his lips as he shut the radio off. The weather for the day had been garbled between the lyrics of a French rap group that he didn’t care for. He didn’t need the weather report to know that it was going to be a good day. He was going to Disney with a friend, how could it be anything else?
His next move was to finish tossing various essentials into his knapsack. Most of the items, if given the chance for public scrutiny would make no sense. There was, of course, the obligatory sunscreen and shades. Two bottles of water (and a handful of Kool-Aid packets), a packet of jacks, several pixiestix, a Moleskine, bubbles, his iPod, and various other accoutrements from previous outings rounded up the jingles and clanging that accompanied his step. Zipping up the bag with a flourish, Noah then lay on his stomach and dangled his torso over the end so he was peering underneath. “There you are!” he crowed, triumphant. He wriggled forward, his fingers itching to grasp the grayed laces of his orange sneakers. They remained just out of reach and he toppled forward with a loud thud. Unphased, Noah rolled onto his stomach and retrieved his beloved shoes. The fact that they were a brilliant orange was only part of his devotion to the objects. His younger sister had told them that they looked like safety cones and so he had added silver bands of duct tape. He thought it rounded out his ensemble of jeans and purple tee quite well.
He ran his fingers through his thick, tangled hair and grinned at his reflection in the mirror. Yes, he decided as he stepped from his room, today was going to be a great day.
He arrived at the theme park before Julianna, which had been his intention all along. He wasn’t so blind as to not notice that agreeing to hang out with him for the day hadn’t been a big deal for her. Why he had no idea. It was Disney after all. How could anyone be hesitant about spending a day at the happiest place on earth? Granted it wasn’t as good as the one in Orlando but it still had spinning teacups and really, what more could anyone ask for?
So, leaning against a bench he waited for her to arrive. In hindsight he should have met her at her dorm, especially considering that they were coming from he same direction. But he’d wanted to stop at a comic store along the way and didn’t know how she would react to accompanying him. There were some girls who were convinced that comic book guys had never seen a non-geeky girl before, which was totally not the case. They’d seen them, just had likely not carried on a conversation with them. It was all about risk management – and when the risk was brutal rejection, most guys ran from it. Not that he thought Julianna was like that, he just didn’t want to overwhelm her with his level of dorkiness.
“Hello, Noah.” Her voice was a soft rasp of a French accent. Her dark eyes were focused beyond him, as though she was unable to remain in the moment alongside him. That would change before the day was up, he noted as an easy smile stretched across his face. Hopping to his feet, he bowed softly, “Greetings, Julianna,” he intoned. “I hope we’re not going to be this formal all day.” He gestured grandly toward the front gates. “We’ve got tea cups, and ice cream bars, and characters, oh my!” Grabbing her hand, Noah towed her forward. “Where do you want to start? Food, then fun? Or fun with food? Or just ‘oh geez, Noah, take a breath’?”
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Post by julianna sellenger on Jul 14, 2010 11:11:01 GMT -8
HEAVY FEET SHUFFLED across cold cement as Juli made her way over to Noah, hesitation weighting each step. Her jade coloured eyes locked on the ground for a long moment then flitted briefly to Noah’s face before moving to study the world behind him. A slight breeze kicked up from the north, rustling the leaves in the trees and causing handfuls of them to spiral down to the earth below in a colourful waltz that ended almost as quickly as it had begun. Gravity’s pull was strong; not only did she see it, but she felt it, tugging and insistent, threatening to pull her through the sidewalk and many layers of the earth’s crust until she reached the core with its intolerable heat extraordinary pressure. There she would not survive, she knew, but it would be a justifiable fate. She did not deserve this life. The teasing pull, however, the heaviness that tugged relentlessly at her limbs as she stood, remained superficial. She stood still and straight, eyes watching as parents spoke to one another and children laughed, hands outstretched to hold those of their family members. She could feel Noah beside her, hear the slight intonation in his voice as he greeted her. She could see in her peripheral vision the way that he bowed in a lighthearted manner. She was very much alive. And, though she knew it was horribly wrong of her, she was surprisingly glad that this was the case. “I hope we’re not going to be this formal all day,” Noah stated lightly. Bewilderment commingled with amusement, bringing a smile to the surface of her being. She hadn’t greeted him formally, had she? Wasn’t he the one who had bowed, speaking in a rather formal tone? Or had she also issued a formal greeting and simply not recognised her own mistake? Regardless of the answer, she was smiling now and it felt nice. She didn’t want to let it go to focus on speaking, so she chose to remain silent, lips upturned as she watched him with careful eyes. He was dressed in bright colours; the purple of his shirt contrasted with the bright orange of his shoes and the red of his backpack. However, it was not an unsuitable outfit, not for Noah. It seemed fitting, she thought, that his ebullient nature be expressed in his clothing choices. She, naturally, served as his opposite, a dull contrast to his cheerful vibrance. Her slender, nearly too-thin frame was clad in pale, slightly frayed jeans and an olive green t-shirt covered by a simple jean jacket. A tan sling-bag hung from one shoulder, mostly empty aside from simple necessities—or what she at least assumed were necessities. She had nearly called Noah to ask what she should bring, but embarrassment had fuelled her to guess instead, hoping that she wouldn’t neglect to bring anything of any particular importance. Noah extended his arm swiftly, motioning toward the entrance like a ringmaster in a circus proudly introducing his family of artistes. “We’ve got tea cups, and ice cream bars, and characters, oh my!” The excitement in his voice was nearly disconcerting, bringing to mind once more the worry that she might ruin this day for him. He was animated and lively, obviously eagerly anticipating the day ahead. She still could not understand why he had chosen to bring her, of all people. He had admitted himself that she did not have enough fun, that she was too concerned with what people thought of her. The obvious result was that she was a boring person to be around. Why, then, would he waste his time with her? A soft gasp escaped her lips as he took hold of her hand, pulling her along with him toward the front gates. “Where do you want to start? Food, then fun? Or fun with food? Or just ‘oh geez, Noah, take a breath’?” His words were quick, filled with exuberance and distorted somewhat by the sounds of the other people crowded around them. She had to think to process his words and formulate a response. Yes, she thought in midst of the swirling confusion within her mind, take a breath. Please. But she could not speak these words, could she? They would be horribly offensive, and what then? Would he look at her with disgust and turn away or simply resign himself to a day with a horribly rude, boring person? No, she could not do that. She followed him, legs moving quickly to keep pace with him. The feel of his hand grasping her was horribly distracting, unnerving and comfortable all at once. She had absolutely no idea what to think. Finally, her lips moved in uncertain rhythm, admitting softly, “I don’t know. I… you… you should choose.” She bit her lip. Should? Would he now feel obligated to choose and resent her for that? No, surely he wouldn’t mind something as simple as making a decision, would he? After all, it had been his decision to bring her here, and he had been quite firm in that. Nodding just slightly to reassure herself, she thought that surely one single decision would not ruin this day. Her spirit lightened just slightly as she followed him toward the gates. She was safe… for now.
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Post by noah davis on Sept 29, 2010 0:28:04 GMT -8
Hesitation reverberated through Julianna’s every step; every expression. Noah briefly considered the notion that he was the source of her discomfort. His grip on her hand lessened minutely but did not release it. The slight weight of her palm pressed against his with the feathery softness. It felt small and cold within his grasp and he found himself wondering if he was really holding her hand at all. But he was and any concern he felt toward his friend was masked beneath his bright smile as he angled his head toward her. “I’m so glad it’s going to be a nice day today,” he confided. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week! All my teacher’s were like ‘Noah, why can’t you sit still?’ And I was like, ‘’cause I’m going to Disney with this super-wicked-awesome-cool friend!’ How can anyone be expected to sit still when they’ve got that coming up?”
The delicately sculpted entrance gates beckoned them forward. His grip on her hand tightened slightly as he wove around a Japanese tour group. A girl around the same age as them sat on the ground wearing Minnie Mouse ears and an embroidered Winnie-the-Pooh sweatshirt. A boy stood above her flexing nonexistent muscles and holding up a miniature Tinker Bell figurine above his head. The girl snapped photos of him as he barked orders in a tongue Noah couldn’t understand. He had often wondered what the photo albums of some Asian tourists would look like but surmised that it would be similar to the scrapbook his younger sister kept. Instead of gum wrappers found on the pavement and tucked into her pocket to glue into the book once they arrived home there would be pictures. Though in either scenario Noah couldn’t comprehend the draw a gum wrapper could have on a person.
He led Julianna toward the advance ticketing queue and released her hand so that he could fish through his backpack for the tickets he had printed off his computer earlier. The last time he had come to Disneyland Paris the lines had been ridiculous and he had vowed that he would purchase his tickets in advance the next time he came. Once the papers had been collected and their bags scanned – his own requiring a thorough hand-search – he led her toward the benches surrounding a neatly trimmed garden shaped as Mickey Mouse’s face. He was already mulling over what they should do first. After all, Julianna had said that he should be the once to choose and, given his expertise on the park, he decided she had made the right choice. He ran his fingers through his hair and surveyed the small groups of people making their way into the park.
He wasn’t sure what Julianna would consider fun and didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. No doubt she had heard about some of his antics from other students. He had even shared some stories with her. Over the course of their friendship Noah had concluded that Julianna was the sort who preferred to play by the rules. For her doing what was expected led to enjoyment. It wasn’t that he particularly sought out trouble but that he needed something to occupy his mind while his teachers clarified the lesson for the rest of the class. Concocting pranks appeased his boredom. Once a prank had been formulated it seemed like a shame to let it go to waste. Not that there was anything remotely boring about Disney so Julianna had nothing to worry about on that front.
His stomach rumbled then, reminding him that in his haste to prepare for the day that he had neglected to eat breakfast. He frowned, certain that the package of Coco Puffs would be gone by the time he returned to his dorm. His roommate, Luc, may be a model but no self-respecting teenaged male could resist the chocolatety goodness of that cereal in the morning. He would have to remember to purchase another box on the way back so he would be prepared. That way if Luc had somehow mustered the super-human strength required to resist that cereal he would have a box to give him in thanks. It was a foolproof plan as far as he was concerned. “Are you hungry?” he asked. “Because I’m pretty sure that if I don’t eat something soon that Disney will hire my stomach for sound effect or something. Can you hear that?” He made a face as his stomach protested its neglect anew. “I’m going to have to go with food first. What do you feel like eating? Guarantee there is plenty to rot your teeth here. Or we can go somewhere where we can pronounce all of the ingredients in whatever it is we are eating.”
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Post by julianna sellenger on Oct 24, 2010 8:04:24 GMT -8
JULIANNA FOUND HERSELF wishing that she had brought a hat. She felt exposed in the open air of the park without even her hair to hide behind. She had pulled it back into a hasty ponytail that morning, thinking that it would help to have it out of her face on rides. Now, however, she was beginning to think otherwise. Hair or a hat would have provided cover, a way for her to shut out the world that pressed in around her from every side. She did not belong in a place such as this. She did not deserve smiles and enjoyment. Most of all, she did not, deserve Noah, with his fun ideas and bright laughter. He was too kind for her, too jovial and lighthearted to be weighed down by her private issues. She knew that he would leave and all but held her breath for that inevitable moment. Whether nature or self-preservation took him from her life, he would leave eventually. The thought of it nagged silently at her heart. She would miss him when he was gone. She pulled a loose strand of hair from behind her ear, allowing it to trail from her temple and across the side of her face. It was not enough to conceal the discomfort clouding her features, even with her head ducked low so that her chin nearly touched her chest. She was excited, of course, but this was exactly the problem. She did not have the right to feel excitement. She was a curse, a bane to the existence of those around her. Why else would everyone have left her? Those she had loved had all been taken from the earth, leaving her behind to deal with the punishment of being alone. She was meant to be, certainly, had even accepted this fate up until the moment that Noah had waltzed into her life, making it his mission to teach her how to have fun. There was no room left within her for fun, she thought, just as her reserves of love had long since dried up in the dry heat of her broken heartedness. However, if there was one person who could teach her, surely it was Noah. She had thought herself incapable of smiling and laughing, but he had coaxed the foreign expressions from the depths of her soul on more than one occasion. She silently hoped that he would not leave too soon, that she might learn once more what it meant to have fun. She held more tightly to his hand without meaning to, a vain attempt to remain connected to him as they made their way toward the entrance. He turned toward her, smiling, and uttered his excitement about the day, explaining how it had effected his week. “Super-wicked-awesome-cool?” She repeated, eyes just a bit wider then usual and effectively conveying her surprise. Surely her wasn’t referring to her. She could more accurately be described as his super-lame-boring-foolish friend, she thought. Then again, she wasn’t quite about to tell him this. Noah seemed to believe, for some strange, irrational reason, that she was actually worth something. Although she knew that it was horribly selfish, she wanted him to keep on believing, so as to prolong the time he remained her friend. Softly, she added, “I am sorry you were unable to sit still. You didn’t get into trouble, I hope?”As they wove neatly around a group of tourists, Julianna slowed to watch the young Japanese couple. She knew that she was slowing Noah down and wondered if he might become impatient with her, especially considering his excitement about the day ahead. However, she could not make her feet move more quickly, instead, she kept her head turned back as she shuffled slowly forward, propelled only by Noah leading her on. The couple and their odd antics strangely captivated her. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, even behaving in a manner that seemed quite foreign to her. She wondered what it must be like to be silly and not wonder self-consciously about what people watching must be thinking. Quietly, possibly even too quiet for Noah to hear, she asked, “What do you suppose it is like?”As they reached the gates, Noah’s hand released hers so he could dig through his bag for the tickets. She still felt horribly guilty that he had paid for her to come to Disney with him. It was kind of him, but she hoped that he would have spent the money on someone more deserving. She was not as fun as his other friends, clearly, and she dreaded the moment in which he discovered this. No matter how she tried to convince herself otherwise, it seemed that today would provide Noah with ample opportunity to discover just how uninteresting and broken she truly was. She could not help wondering if this would be the last day she ever spent with him. As they moved through the entrance, she resisted the urge to reach for his hand again. It had felt odd, nearly uncomfortable, but now that the pressure of his hand against hers was gone, she wanted it back. The park was too large, too crowded. Who knew who might be here, and what they would do to her if they could get her alone. She quickened her steps to close the gap between them and took a deep breath. It was Disney; surely she was safe here. But she did not feel very safe. The rumbling of his stomach first cut into her thoughts, followed quickly by his voice. She felt a hesitant smile tugging at her lips at the thought of Noah standing before a loudspeaker, his stomach playing the background noise for a ride. She nodded in response to his first question, then stopped to thoughtfully consider the options he offered her. There were so many questions for this day, so many options from which to choose. Julianna knew that she could not ask him to choose every time—to do so would be horribly inconsiderate, after all—but she would hate to upset him by saying the wrong thing. Her face creased with worry and she shifted from foot to foot for a moment. “I… I like anything,” she muttered to the ground. It wasn’t quite true. She had told him before that she didn’t eat much junk food. However, he had told her that he quite enjoyed it. Perhaps, for one day, she could eat what he would like. Biting her lip, she risked a glance up at him, wishing again for a hat to hide behind. “Perhaps we can wander for a few minutes… and see what looks… appetising?” She hoped that the park was not so large as to keep this from being a feasible option. Softly, she added, “And I am paying. Remember?”
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Post by noah davis on Sept 27, 2011 21:44:05 GMT -8
There was the common misconception that Noah was not perceptive. In many ways he understood how someone could draw that conclusion. Most of his days were spent acting like a child instead of the adult he was supposed to be becoming. His mother liked to call him Peter Pan because he expressed no desire to age. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to mature; it was that Noah saw undesirable aspects to adulthood. You were born with a skull that hadn’t fully formed, and the ability to accept new people and ideas freely. Growing up involved a gradual hardening of the mind, and Noah wanted no part of it.
He let his thoughts wander to his younger sister, Grace. So many people only saw limitations when they looked at her. She looked different from other girls her age, spoke with a lisp, didn’t develop basic skills as rapidly, but that didn’t change her heart. As far as Noah could tell where your heart is was all that really mattered. Beneath all the pranking and joking around, Noah truly cared about people. He wanted nothing more than for the people in his life to experience joy and freedom; to exist for a moment and not be chained by all of the social protocols that crippled adults.
That’s all he wanted for Julianna. And since they had met up, it was obvious that her mind was a thousand miles away. She was acting like he’d invited her to a guillotine party rather than the happiest place on earth – or at least Europe. He wanted to call her bluff but wasn’t sure if that was the right move. It was like playing with glitter, one wrong move and you had a giant mess. It seemed like every word out her Julianna’s mouth was carefully crafted and planned, as though she was afraid of him. He glanced at his ensemble quickly and then back at her. Really? She found him intimidating?
“I … I like anything,” she muttered to the ground, and Noah resisted the urge to sigh. “Ah, c’mon, Banana, you’ve gotta have a favourite,” he teased lightly, nudging her arm. “Perhaps we can wander for a few minutes … and see what looks … appetizing? And I am paying. Remember?”
Of course he remembered, the deal was one of the few ways he’d been able to convince Julianna to come out in the first place. In many ways she reminded him of the flower his sister had hid beneath a box because she was afraid that someone was going to steal it. He had spent days coaxing Grace to lift the lid so that the plant would survive. “Living things aren’t meant to be contained, they need space to grow. To live. I promise, if you give the plant a chance to be free, it’ll amaze you what it can do.” True to his word, the plant flourished. The one pink blossom Grace had wanted to protect turned into a dozen. Before the first frost had hit, Noah had carefully divided the plant and placed it in a brightly coloured flowerpot and placed it on his sister’s windowsill so she could enjoy it year-round. It was a tradition he still maintained five years later. That was all Julianna needed. He was sure of it. If she let go of whatever it was that held her back, she’d flourish.
Noah kept all of these thoughts to himself as they meandered down Main Street, bouncing in excitement that he hoped would be catching. “Of course I remember! How could I forget about free food? It’s the best sort, you know. But, I’ve got to warn you: if you’re paying, you get to pick. I’m a growing boy. If you slather it in ketchup, I’ll think it’s delicious. Except for maybe ice cream.” He skipped forward and then turned to face her. “And no arguing about you choosing, either. Or else I’ll be forced to do something drastic. Like sing ‘It’s A Small World’ really, really, really loud.”
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